Everything you need to know

Yes, completely free. The full 96-question assessment - covering Attachment Style, Your Connection Type, and Defense Style - costs nothing and requires no account or credit card. You'll receive your complete profile results immediately after finishing. A membership is only needed if you'd like to receive curated introductions.

Most people complete the full assessment in 12 minutes. There are 96 questions across three sections: 37 for Attachment Style, 88 for the Your Connection Type, and 23 for Defense Style. You can pause and return to it, though we recommend completing it in one sitting for the most authentic results.

Answer as honestly as you can - not as you'd like to be seen, but as you truly feel. There are no right or wrong answers. If a question doesn't resonate with you or you're unsure what it means, that uncertainty is meaningful in itself and is most likely a low-scoring response. The more honest you are, the more accurate your match will be.

The assessment has three parts. Part 1 - Attachment Style - explores how your nervous system regulates in close relationships, identifying whether you're primarily Secure, Anxious, or Avoidant. Part 2 - Your Connection Type - identifies which of the 7 core archetypes best describes your energy and approach to life and love: The Visionary, The Soulkeeper, The Heartwood, and 13 more. Part 3 - Defense Style - reveals the protective patterns you've developed in relationships, across Distant, Disarming, Dynamic, Dysnamic, or Pioneering styles.

Yes. You can retake the assessment at any time using the Retake button on the results screen. We actually encourage this if significant time has passed or you feel your answers may have changed. If you're a member and retake the assessment, please let our team know so we can update your profile accordingly.

We ask for 3 clear, natural photos of your face. No hats, no sunglasses, and no heavy posing - we want to see the real you. Candid, natural shots tend to work best and lead to the most authentic introductions. Photos are requested as part of the profile review process after you complete the assessment.

MDM is open to single adults who are genuinely ready and committed to finding a long-term partner. We don't work with people who are casually dating, currently in a relationship, or not serious about finding something lasting. If that's you, MDM isn't the right fit - and that's perfectly fine. We'd rather be honest upfront.

No. The assessment is completely free and open to anyone. You only need a membership if you want our team to actively match you and make curated introductions on your behalf.

We offer three membership tiers. Essential ($150/month) includes a profile review, background check, and up to 2 introductions per month. Premium ($250/month) adds priority matching, up to 4 introductions per month, and follow-up coaching. Elite ($400/month) includes a dedicated personal matchmaker, unlimited introductions, and monthly 1-on-1 strategy sessions. All tiers include the background check at no extra cost. Visit our Pricing page for full details.

Yes. Every member who joins MDM undergoes a background check before receiving any introductions. This is non-negotiable - it's how we keep our community safe and ensure every introduction is made with confidence. The background check is fully included in your membership fee. There is no additional cost.

Yes. Life happens, and we understand that. Monthly members can pause their membership for up to 60 days by contacting our team. During a pause, your profile remains active but you won't receive new introductions. Pausing is not available on multi-month or annual packages, but you can cancel at the end of your term.

Every match is made by a real human being - not an algorithm. Our team reads your full profile and looks for genuine compatibility across your Attachment Style, Archetype Connection Type, and Defense Style. We consider not just who you're similar to, but whose patterns complement yours in a way that creates balance and growth. We may also reach out to learn more about your lifestyle, values, and what you're looking for before making an introduction.

Our team reviews new profiles within 48 hours of joining. How quickly you receive an introduction depends on your profile and the current membership base. Some members receive an introduction within their first week. Others may wait a little longer while we find the right match. We never rush introductions - we'd rather wait for the right person than introduce you to the wrong one. If no introduction is made within your first 30 days, we'll extend your membership by one month at no charge.

When we find someone whose profile genuinely complements yours, we reach out to both parties separately. We share a brief overview of who we'd like to introduce you to and why we think you're compatible - without sharing any personal contact details yet. Only if both parties consent do we make the full introduction and share contact information. You're always in control.

Secure attachment is compatible with all styles - a Secure partner tends to bring stability and ease to any pairing. Anxious individuals match most naturally with other Anxious styles (provided both have self-awareness) or with Secure partners who provide consistent reassurance. Avoidant individuals match most naturally with other Avoidant styles who respect autonomy, or with Secure partners whose steadiness creates safety without pressure. We take all of this into account when making introductions.

That's completely okay - and we'd love to hear your feedback. Understanding what didn't resonate helps us make better introductions in the future. Simply reach out to our team after meeting and share your thoughts honestly. We use this feedback to refine our understanding of what you're looking for and continue searching.

Yes. MDM operates online and our membership base is not limited to a single location. When reviewing your profile, our team will consider your location and openness to distance as part of the matching process. If you're open to meeting someone who doesn't live nearby, please let us know - it significantly expands your potential matches.

Your assessment results are seen only by the MDM team. We never share your full profile with other members without your explicit consent. When we make an introduction, we share a curated summary - not your raw scores - alongside our reasoning for the match.

Absolutely. Your name, email, contact details, and assessment data are stored securely and never sold or shared with third parties. We handle all personal information with care and in accordance with privacy best practices. You can request to update, pause, or remove your data at any time by contacting our team.

Once you join as a paid member, our team will guide you through the background check process. The check covers criminal history and identity verification. It is required for all members without exception and is fully included in your membership fee. Results are reviewed by our team and kept confidential - they are never shared with other members.

Please reach out to our team immediately. We take the safety and wellbeing of every member very seriously. Any concerns will be handled with full confidentiality and urgency. We will investigate and, if necessary, remove individuals from the platform. Your safety is never something we compromise on.

Yes. You can request full deletion of your data at any time by emailing us at hello@moderndaymatchmaking.com. We will remove your profile, assessment results, and personal information from our systems within 14 business days of your request.

Monthly memberships can be cancelled at any time with no penalty - your membership will remain active until the end of the current billing period. For 3-month, 6-month, and annual packages, the full term is billed upfront at the discounted rate. These are non-refundable after the first 7 days, but will not auto-renew unless you choose to continue.

Monthly memberships are refundable within 7 days of payment if no introductions have been made. Multi-month and annual packages are refundable within the first 7 days only. After that, the remaining term is non-refundable. If you have a concern, please reach out to our team - we always try to find a fair resolution.

None whatsoever. Your membership fee covers everything - including the background check. The price you see on our Pricing page is the price you pay. We believe transparency builds trust, and we'd never surprise you with unexpected charges.

Yes. You can upgrade to a higher tier at any time and the change takes effect immediately - you'll be charged a prorated amount for the remainder of your current billing period. Downgrades take effect at the start of your next billing cycle. Just reach out to our team and we'll take care of it.

We accept all major credit and debit cards. Payment is processed securely. We do not store your payment details on our servers - all transactions are handled by a PCI-compliant payment processor.